Sunday, April 28, 2013

no words can describe what Im feeling right now.

Bismillah. In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful.

Assalamualaikum, May Peace be Upon You.

I have a mixed feeling. I can't really describe what I feel right now.

Why this is so hard. I hate this feeling. I wish it goes away.

Sometimes I feel like I always make a decision without thinking of it thoroughly.

And now I'm paying for it.

However, I think that maybe it is the best for me though I can't see it now. Dear ruh aljadid, please remember (2:216).

I just have to really put my trust on Him.

I have this sort of feeling maybe because Im used to make decisions on my own.

However, when I decided one of the important things in my life I based on my parents happiness, in order to obtain their redha which leads to Allah's redha, although I am happy for them, sometimes I don't really feel happy for myself.

Sacrifice is indeed a painful thing to do but if it is for the best for my Deen and for my parents, I hope I can go through it successfully.

However, my sacrifice is nothing compared to others in Syria, Palestine and other parts of the world.

Ya Rabb, please know that I did this for You. And for that please grant me and my family jannah so that we could see and meet You one day. Please accept my prayer and my sacrifice. Ameen~

Bismillahi tawakkaltu alallah.

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